Double Dog Daring Dellinger

Heller has been heard by the Supreme Court, now the justices will read and re-read briefs, and conference, and supposedly give us some kind of decision in June.  To reiterate my prediction:  Ban overturned, reasonable restrictions allowed, probably "rational" scrutiny of any laws, and no major effect nationally.

That said, and setting aside my concerns about the court's treatment of Miller, as something for another day, I was interested in this bit:

In addition to the handgun ban, Washington also has a trigger lock requirement for other guns that raised some concerns Tuesday.

"When you hear somebody crawling in your bedroom window, you can run to your gun, unlock it, load it and then fire?" Justice Antonin Scalia said.

Roberts, who has two young children, suggested at one point that trigger locks might be reasonable.

"There is always a risk that the children will get up and grab the firearm and use it for some purpose other than what the Second Amendment was designed to protect," he said.

On the other hand, he, too, wondered about the practical effect of removing a lock in an emergency. "So then you turn on the lamp, you pick up your reading glasses," Roberts said to laughter.

Dellinger said he opened the lock in three seconds, although he conceded that was in daylight.

Three whole seconds.  Interesting.  

So - here's my double dog dare for Walter The Gunslinger:

He gets a revolver loaded with Simunitions , equipped with a standard trigger lock.  I get to have a foam
bat covered with chalk.  I will toss, say, a thousand dollars into a pot.  I will start the scenario, as Justice Scalia stated, a decent distance away from Walter The Gunslinger, in a darkened room, with him lying down as though in bed.  My mission will be to strike him with the chalk-covered club, and we will deduct 100 dollars from the pot for each hit I make on him.  The scenario ends when he gets the trigger lock unlocked and shoots me with the paintball, and he gets the
remainder of the pot.

The catch is this - for every strike past 10, Walter The Gunslinger needs to pay me a hundred dollars, just to be fair, up to the time he unlocks the gun and shoots me.

I figure I'll pay off my student loans, my house, my car, and have enough left over to start a decent business before I run out of chalk on the foam.

C'mon, Walter, put your money where your mouth is.   I triple dog dare ya!  After all, it's just money for you - for some poor gunowner, three seconds might well be his life.

J. Underhill



Anonymous said...

Yep. Studies have been done on how long it takes one that does not intend to fire a weapon to process threating stimuli and fire -- about 1.5 seconds. This is with the weapon cocked and in hand. He who does not hesitate wins in this case. However, one could also make a mistake.


Casey said...

Congress should pass a law mandating that criminals give people at least 5 seconds to unlock their guns.

Problem solved.

Jesse Segovia said...

Say, did you ever Dog Dare Walter before you jumped to Double Dog Dare and then TRIPLE Dog Dare???

Excellent post. Google the Tueller Drill - it's a test that shows that a man with a loaded gun cannot consistently protect himself against a man with a knife standing 20 feet away. The latter can close the distance and strike before most of us can process the threat and react. The bad guy has already made up his mind - I guess he is unfamiliar with 'reasonable infringement' and the DC gun laws.

By the way, to create my Google blogger account in order to post here, I had to type in a secret verification word. What the heck is "grousabi?"

j underhill said...

Casey has been known to be grousabi on occasion. Maybe if yu ask nicely he'll share the details of our visit to the lovely city of Pusan. As I recall he was very grousabi on the return trip...

And yes, I went right to the triple dog dare. I realize it's a breach of legal protocol, but I'm an attorney who likes to live on the edge.

Jesse Segovia said...

My attorneys, Grousabi, Iaosp, Godys and Dested (all actual Blogspot secret verification words - I am NOT making this up!) shall hear about this!

Is Walter Dellinger available for birthday parties and Handgun Control, Inc. fundraisers? We could suspend him upside down from a burning crane a hundred feet in the air. He opens a gun lock in three seconds flat, shoots the chains binding him to the crane and then backflips safely onto the ground. It's all done with misdirection, folks, just like saying gun control is all about disarming criminals when in fact, all it does is disarm people who obey gun laws (i.e., not criminals).

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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