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Showing posts from July, 2009

Naked News of the Day

I've been coughing and sneezing for a few days... my colleagues convinced me to go to a hospital nearby, to get a shot. Of course, it wasn't going to be in my arm. It was going to be in the butt- ocks . The nurse on duty was more embarrassed than I was. I'm sure she had a story to tell her friends and family! It started at the front desk when I amazed them by speaking in Korean. Not very good Korean, probably very difficult to understand Korean, but still enough Korean for them to understand that I was catching a cold and needed a shot. Everything I said seemed to amuse everyone in the office. First, we had to determine if I was supposed to take off my pants completely or not. Then, was I supposed to get on the table or not. I was on the table, waiting for the shot. I asked, "아파요?" Meaning, "Will it hurt?" She laughed, saying it would not. I'll assume she was laughing at me for using the present rather than the future tense. Anyway, I reminded her, &

Good news that is also bad

If I took the Korean newspapers seriously then I would have to believe that Korean society has fallen apart. * * * Jeon to tackle low birthrate Anti-Mom Community Shocks Bloggers Minister for Health, Welfare and Family Affairs Jeon Jae- hee yesterday expressed her strong will to tackle the falling birthrate and the aging of society. "When I think about the issue of low birthrates, I feel a flame burning on my back," said the minister in a press meeting arranged to mark her first year in the office. The Korean government wants to do something about the low birthrate. What, mandate that Korean couples listen to Barry White or Marvin Gaye music all night? After reading what some Korean youngsters have been saying about their moms I'm thinking that the birthrate is already too high... And what would the fathers who want to leave home have to say if they had their own blogs to vent? Actually, I suspect that some of the kids who were attacking their moms were actually disg

What if...

According to both English language papers in Korea: 2 of 3 Men Feel Urge to Flee From Home . A poll by online recruiter Career said 66 percent of working men in their 30s and older have felt the urge to flee from their homes and escape today's reality in the past year due to suffocating economic difficulties. Forty-something men turned out to have the strongest desire to run away with more than 72 percent of them saying they wanted to take off, while men in their 30s followed next with 64 percent. 1) What percentage are actually leaving? 2) The survey I want to see is: what percent of their wives would like to see them leave. * * * What if....Jon Huer actually made a point? Regular Korea Times contributor Jon Huer has some haters . I don't count myself among them yet. In the three weeks I have been reading his columns I find myself wondering why (1) he bothered to write (2) I bothered to read. Writers typically write to motivate readers, to inform them, or to get them to ch

C-I-L-L my landlord

So the building manager/landlord went into my room twice yesterday. I guess I should feel thankful. 1) The manager/landlord and one of my managers at work went into my room to receive the delivery of my washing machine. It was very nice of them to stay there while it was installed! Very nice, indeed! I just wish I had known....especially after being told that no one could get into my room... 2) Then, later, the manager/landlord went into my room to leave a package sent from Mongolia. To the best of my recollection I don't know a single person from Mongolia and haven't been in my new room long enough to have told anyone my address. Of course, the package wasn't for me, probably for the previous resident. I'm expecting my manager/landlord to go back into my room today to retreive the package... Images by Tyrone Greene ... (Eddie Murphy on Saturday Night Live) Dark and lonely on the summer night. Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. Watchdog barking - Do he bite? Kill my l

Former Mr. Choi Han-bit makes the cut (literally and figuratively)

Update, from the Chosun Ilbo : Choi Han-bit has become the first transgender individual to pass the first preliminary round of the Super Model Contest 2009 on July 2. "It's just the beginning. I do not live in vain hope. But if I can be happy and I can also do it..." Choi wrote on her blog on Wednesday. Choi is reported a graduate of the School of Dance at the Korean National University of Arts. According to SBS, over 1,200 people applied to this year's Super Model Contest. Only 160 passed the document screening, and only 50 people, including Choi, passed the first preliminary round. The second preliminary round on July 28 will leave 32 candidates for the final round, which will be held in Geoje, South Gyeongsang Province, on Sept. 25. Previous blog entry

24 million comrades served daily!

* Average [South] Korean Turning Overweight * N. Korea Opens 1st Fast-Food Restaurant I predicted more than a decade ago that if North Korea ever allowed McDonald's to open a branch that it wouldn't be long before NPR and South Korean media/intellectuals complained about North Koreans becoming overweight (as opposed to those who eat grass to keep from starving). I'm sticking by that prediction: According to the Korea Times : "South Korea used to be known as a nation of slim people thanks to its diet of fruits and vegetables. But the reputation has become a thing of the past as a growing number of Koreans are becoming obese due to the widespread popularity of high-calorie and high-fat Western foods, as well as a lack of exercise." In unrelated news, N. Koreans who have been eating grass may finally have a chance to eat fast-food . As the Korea Herald reminds us: "North Korea suffers from chronic food shortages, with private analysts saying that about 1 millio

Tips of the day

When you're moving to a new apartment in Seoul... make sure you ask them how to turn on the hot water. If you like cold showers then you don't have to worry about this. If you don't mind just randomly plugging things in or turning knobs on different equipment then you can also disregard that tip. I was in a bit of luck because I still had the key to the place I was moving out of so there was a happy ending. I felt like a rich man for a few hours, with two apartments within a 10 minute walk. Which leads to tip #2, which may need to be tip #1: Before you completely move out of a place be sure to ask if anyone will be moving in immediately. If not, keep the key for another day or two until you are settled in the new place... CJL

How not to get your ass beat by the police

The black president of the United States stupidly commented on the arrest of a black Harvard professor in his own home by a white police officer. Some random thoughts and memories: * I'm sure most people are still trying to figure out who Prof. Gates is. As G.K. Chesterton once wrote: "Journalism consists largely in saying 'Lord Jones is dead' to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive." * Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick said Gates' arrest was "every black man's nightmare." Perhaps. But having a criminal in my house is even more of a nightmare. Also, having the president of the United States talk off the cuff about me about something he doesn't know is pretty bad. And getting shot by a cop after I escalated a situation would also be worse than getting arrested. Anyway, I have had my own dealings with the police over the years: * Back when I was a college student many many moons ago, one of my brothers and I got stopped by police in Bro

Dancing like it's 1989

Thursday night, my colleagues called me to join them for dinner, drinks, then noraebang 노래방. We wrapped up after 2 a.m. I pulled out some of my favorite dance moves from yesteryear... one of my colleagues was mesmerized, after a few more beers he decided to give it a try... I was casually dressed in a t-shirt, shorts, sandals. Still, I pulled off some of the dance moves. I don't know if he was wearing his tie when he started dancing, it seemed that he was moving too fast for it to keep up with him. It was agreed that he didn't come close to doing the dance as well as I did. It has been 20 years so I could do them in my sleep. At about 2:30 a.m. in the morning, as we were waiting for a driver to pick him up and take him home, he continued trying the dance in a parking lot nearby, asking me to do it again so he could follow my lead. He thought the dance moves were so hip. I didn't have the heart to tell him that the dances are at least 20 years old. If the Running Man suddenl

Random scenes in Seoul

Yesterday morning I stopped by to buy some kimbab 김밥 at one of the places that sells rolls for 1,000 won (about $.80, depending on how much the Korean or U.S. government have screwed up their respective currencies). I stop by there often so of course the woman there recognizes me. Of course, they probably recognized me from the first time I went there... Yesterday, she asked in Korean if I liked tan mu gi 단무지. I said yes, that I loved it. As I was trying to pay, she hurriedly cut some up right then, then fed it to me, like I was a 6 year old child... I could see everyone in the shop watching... then, I said, "맛있어요!" delicious! I could see everyone smiling. I'm surprised they didn't start applauding. * * * Friendly fights Saw a funny fight the other day. Two guys in a restaurant were wrestling with each other, knocking over at least one table. I watched, not really interested in getting involved. They could be two friends fighting over a woman or for some other reason,

Korea Fighting!

Years ago I read an article about a man who kept a detailed diary about his life. I think it was 70 years of diaries. Nothing was too insignificant for him to mention. I remember reading it and wondering, "Yeah, but will anyone ever read those boxes of diaries about him going to the bathroom?" I guess he often wrote about himself writing... These days I'm having the opposite problem... I'm living it up so much that I don't have time to write... Can you really enjoy life and record it all? If I had time I would blog about... * going swing dancing * getting treated at the Kkunnori restaurant in Jamsil by two friends who insist I'm the luckiest man alive because I know them. * then getting treated to an hour or two at the Luxury noraebang near Kkunnori . * the "call" button in Korean restaurants * Koreans ordering too much food whenever they eat together * Meeting with Gong Byeong Ho (공병호) for the first time in 10 years. * how damn energetic Seoul i

We are the World!

Politicians constantly tell their constituents that they will fight for them. I believe these folks! Korea Taiwan Chicks in Taiwan Judo master! Mexico India Russia Nigeria Sri Lanka Bolivia Ukraine Alabama Senate fight

If more Korean women get fired?

Just about every day the Korea Times and Herald have photos of cute Korean women in them. Who will replace them in the pages of the Korea Times and Herald if more women get fired? As I noted yesterday , 98 percent of the workers let go have been women. My recommendation? The politicians who crafted the policy resulting in so many being fired should take their places as models for products.

How long until they get arrested? Not long enough!!!

As I recently noted, some executives were arrested for putting industrial ethanol in food they sold. I noted: "Of course, it seems that NO ONE checks on the stuff sold on the streets of Seoul..." I haven't been this wrong since 1982! What will happen to these folks? The Korea Times reports: 24 Percent of Ice Cream Contaminated With Germs About a quarter of ice cream and ice at restaurants and drink shops in Seoul is contaminated with high levels of bacteria that can cause food poisoning, according to Seoul City, Monday. The Seoul Metropolitan Government (SMG) inspected 74 ice cream shops, fast food franchises, coffee houses and bakeries. Among the shops selling ice cream and ice, 18 shops sold products that contained more than the permitted levels of bacteria such as colon bacillus and staphylococcus aureus that can cause food poisoning. I love 팥빙수 (patbingsu) so I would support the death penalty for anyone selling contaminated stuff in it. The city government also inspec

Korean slang

Slang I've heard from Koreans in the last few days. Translation, anyone? 멍 때렸어 seems to mean that something "went over my head" or "I was out of my mind for a few minutes" ....(I've been warned not to use this phrase....so I will write it 100 times until I memorize it) 먹을 복이 있다 You seem to be lucky about showing up when it is time to eat. 썰렁 하다 Your joke was so bad that you froze the room. CJL

Show Your Smile

Wonkwang University to Open Smile Clinic So reports today's Korea Times . Wonkwang University will open up a Smile Clinic in August. The facility will develop a program that will help find the best-fitting smile for individuals, said Dong Jin-keun, a professor in the dentistry school of the southwestern Iksan-based university. ``In ancient times, a good smile gave off an image of self-confidence and made others feel comfortable, securing a high social status for the family,'' Dong said. ``It is an expression of a person's confidence and consideration, so don't use it sparingly,'' the professor said. Practicing smiling can lead to visible improvements, with as little as three minutes in front of a mirror every morning being effective. Practicing both small and big smiles are recommended, Dong said. * * * Show Your Smile by Kim Gun Mo (김건모), 1994.

Personal property in Korea

Learning the language makes a big difference In today's Korea Herald , Alecia Widgiz reflects on her time in Korea. She notes: "The respect for personal property is fantastic in Korea. In Canada you could not leave posters or personal property out over night, because they tend to get destroyed." EXACTLY!!! When I was first in Korea many moons ago, I noticed that Korean street vendors and store owners would leave items outside over night. The only "security" was a blanket or vinyl covering. A few days ago I was with a colleague who left his car running with the keys inside. I warned him, but he said, "No problem. This is Korea. Nobody will take it." I was tempted to hop inside to go joy-riding just to prove my point. We came back a few minutes later, the car was still there. By the way, even though Korean store owners will leave items out over night, I did notice this morning that there are locks on the tanks where live fish and other future seafood ar

The good old days that weren't so good

" A system where you can't live but you can't leave is the definition of hell ." --Christopher Hitchens, on North Korea World disregards N.K. labor camps That's what Blaine Harden of the Washington Post is saying . It seems that the real point is that the world doesn't know what to do about the N.K. labor camps. Lunactics with weapons are keeping their own folks hostage and they've got a huge army ready to attack a civilized country south of it. A few days ago there was a different story...about N.K. refugees who had escaped to South Korea talking about missing North Korea. Of course, not enough to return... This reminds me of the point I've heard from blacks about the good old days of Jim Crow. Again, of course, I haven't heard blacks talking about wanting to return to those days... CJL

Free Food

" Were we directed from Washington when to sow, when to reap, we should soon want bread ." --Thomas Jefferson * * * According to the Korea Herald : Korea struggles with rising cost of food Another headline for the article could be, "Korean farmers benefit from government intervention in agriculture." Here are my suggestions: 1) Drop trade barriers and quotas on agriculture for a year. Of course, continue with safety inspections. Korea would be flooded with food, cheaper food, from around the world. Again, continue with safety inspections. 2) Work out a deal so that American farmers paid to destroy food and not farm some land to keep prices down instead can ship it to South Korea. But would South Korea accept such "food dumping"? CJL By the way, here is the table of contents of the US-Korea Free Trade Agreement. It may be the best I can expect when governments agree on "free" trade. Managed trade would seem to be more accurate. http://www.ustr.gov

It's a man's world

A reason for young Korean men to have sex changes 'Picking Only Women at Ewha Law School Unconstitutional' According to the Korea Times , some male students have sued, claiming that Ewha Womans University Law School is discriminating against them because it won't allow them to attend. If I were representing Ewha in the case I'd suggest that due to the wonders of modern technology the men can still go to Ewha --if they have surgery to become women . * * * A reason for young Korean men NOT to have a sex change Women in 30s Feel Greatest Squeeze in Job Market The powers-that-be have focused their energies, apparently successfully, on helping senior citizens and young people stay employed. The result? According to the Korea Times : "Other statistics by the Korea Labor Institute showed that out of victims of job cuts between November 2008 and May this year, 98 percent were female workers." Incredible! 98 percent of the people let go have been women. For once, w

Weekend roundup

Kim Heung - sook asks: " Who Needs New Bills ?" When I first saw the headline, I thought: I AGREE!!! In fact, I don't want or need ANY bills, whether old or new! I have a dream job now...After a couple of days at work, one of the managers here told me to give him all of my bills, the company would take care of my expenses. So I say...Who needs new bills!!! Who needs old bills!!! Her essay is about the new 50,000 won bill. That's about 40 bucks. The next largest bill? 10,000 won. That's about 8 bucks. * * * Get a job! In an LA Times piece trying to guilt California taxpayers and the governor to spend more on higher education in the state , Vincent J. Del Casino Jr. concludes by asking how he should explain spending cuts to his students: "Governor, any good one-liners I might use?" I've written some speeches for some prominent people over the years, I'll give this one to the governor for free, "Get a job!" * * * The next borrowed word?

Education in South Korea

The Marmot Hole links to an Atlantic Monthly post, Teaching Pays in South Korea . A few random points from me. 1) Superstar Effect : There are many fields in which a handful of people make a lot of money while most people struggle even though there might not be much of a difference in their talent levels. In Hollywood, there are actors making millions while others are delivering pizzas. A major league baseball makes millions traveling around first class while a minor league baseball player who is just slightly less talented makes much less and travels on buses. 2) Man-Bites-Dog stories : Reporters naturally are more interested in stories about the exception rather than the rule. Some teachers in Korea reportedly make as much as $4 million a year. That's a story. Most teachers don't. Not a story and not worth blogging about, either. 3) Culture : When I was teaching in South Korea many moons ago, I often had parents offer me extra cash and gifts. This was in AFTER-SCHOOL program

Today's roundup: Can't tell the womens from the mens!

* This chick was once a dude. * Wouldn't that be something? The sexy supermodel of your dreams may have once been a guy. * I suspect there are some Korean women wondering if they can have the same surgery to look like the former Mr. Choi. The woman pictured on the left is now a contestant in a Super Model Contest in Korea. According to the Korea Times: "Choi Han-bit, 23, was among 50 participants selected from a list of 1,200 candidates at the preliminary stage of the contest on July 2. She still has to pass another preliminary on July 28 to be included in the final selection, but if she does, Choi will be Korea's first transsexual super model. A dance major at the Korea National University of Arts, Choi underwent a sex change operation in 2006, and was legally recognized as a woman by a court." The article also mentions: "In 2005, before undergoing the sex change operation, she appeared in a television show as a man who was disguised as a woman." * * * Diet

Land of the Drunken Tiger

The Korea Times and Korea Herald both report today that the nation's tourism slogan, "Korea, Sparkling," may be dropped. The "branding chief" says that, and "Dynamic Korea" need to be replaced with another bland name that won't attract anyone. Those weren't his exact words, but that's what will happen. Has Korea tourism ever had a slogan that would attract tourists? If so, why did they scrap it? It might be better to find something that works, and stick with that. But with a "branding chief" in place, there is probably always someone under pressure to come up with a snazzy name. The branding chief's suggestion of "Miraculous Korea" sounds more like it is a religious cult. I would guess cheap airline tickets would probably get more tourists to Korea. Cheap hotels would probably also attract more folks. Cool stuff to do? That's not clear before you get here what would be cool to do. Fixing the situation with Nort